You're having a tin...

Bath that is (cockney rhyming slang, for the uninitiated).

WARNING: jargon-laced poker discussion ahoy. If you don't understand poker then you won't have a scooby what I'm on about (see what I did there?).

It's just not been my evening. I was playing in a monthly game that I've become involved in, which is a tenner buy-in with unlimited re-buys (fiver each) for the first hour and then an opportunity to take a top-up as well after the hour (five or ten quid, your choice). It started well enough with me doubling my stack in the second hand with my rockets standing up against cowboys but that was the high point really. I had pocket pair after pocket pair destroyed by pretty rubbish hands that basically got very lucky having been on a bluff in the first place and I made it to the final table only by re-buying twice and taking a ten pound add on. My 30 quid finally disappeared after I went all in with pocket twos: Not a great hand but I figured I had enough chips to chase off speculative players and take down a reasonable pot. Sadly, I was called by my nemesis of the evening and he had, of course, ace-queen. Technically, I was ahead as my pair was already in the bag, so to speak, but naturally enough the first two cards on the flop were an ace and a queen and there were no twos anywhere to bale me out so I was out in seventh for no cash (although I do score points for the league so all is not lost).

To pass the time, those players out early tend to start a pot-limit cash game so I figured I'd have a fiver in that as it's 10 and 20 pence blinds. Last time we played I made some of my money back and this time seemed to be looking the same as I was soon over a fiver up. Then came pocket sevens and I started raising but I had a guy following me in so I put him on a couple of face cards. The flop came 2-8-2 and the pot by this time was a healthy nine quid or so, so I went all in for just over a fiver figuring the face cards won't bother chasing their hand considering the relatively high amount of cash involved in the hand. Sadly, it turns out I'd been followed into the hand by 8-3 off suit (not even soooted!) so the lucky bastard had made a bigger two pair than me and that was my fiver gone. I gave up then as that's enough wonga to lose in an evening.

By the way, anyone balking at the prospect of losing 35 quid in an evening on cards can stop with the sanctimony right now: I bet you spend much more than that on an evening out. I usually don't drink when playing poker and since I was driving I was definitely not drinking. I had good fun and there was a chance of making a not inconsiderable amount of cash. Plus it is a once-a-month gathering so it's not exactly high roller stuff. People usually forget that for every problem gambler there are thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of gamblers who do not have a problem and I'm one of them. We are not all hopeless addicts who gamble away our life savings!