Please, oh please...

Rapper 50 Cent (or 'Fiddy' as he is know by the dribbling retards that listen to him) has apparently threatened to not release any more solo albums if his next release is beaten in terms of sales by Kanye West's new album which is launched on the same day. Now, I'm no Kanye West fan but his music is pretty inoffensive and melodious and if there is any justice in the world then his record will do better and the odious ex-crack dealer will fuck off for good and never come back.

For those who don't know, 50 Cent is a former drug dealer from (I think - I don't really give two shits either way) Philadelphia who seems to be very proud of the fact that he ruined a lot of lives by peddling that filthy shite to the needy and desperate. Not only that but he thinks he's a hard man because he's been shot nine times. Now hang on a minute. Being shot nine times doesn't make you hard, it just means you're bloody careless and that the person or persons shooting you were fucking useless with guns. He likes to rap about his bitches (or maybe hos - whatever they're called this week) and how he has lots of bling and how that obviously means he's better than you.

Look, I have no problem with rap - Public Enemy and Nas, amongst other, feature in my music collection - but I do have a problem with rap that doesn't say anything at all. Rap was originally heavily politicised and often conveyed a message to a disaffected youth. Whether that message was perceived by outsiders as good or bad is irrelevant, the point is that it had, well, a point. 50 Cent is the most banal, pointless gimp going. Not only that he has an appaling voice and looks like he'd struggle to find more than a couple of brain cells to rub together. Quite what kids (mostly white and from the underclass in the UK) see in this gormless mouth-breather is quite beyond me, although I freely admit I am old beyond my years and quite grumpy with it. But the fact remains that with a bit of luck this talentless tosser might just bog off for good and never trouble the airwaves and music charts again.

Please, just this once, let something said by a celebrity in the heat of the moment actually come to pass (I'm still waiting for that tedious short arse Paul Daniels to fuck off as well).