If you haven't heard this song, you should. One of the most perfect bits of turntablism ever made.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 3:36 am with No comments
I use a tracker on this blog just to see where in the world people come from who read whatever shite I'm spouting. I got a hit from New South Wales in Australia based on an ask.com search for "second hand Daewoo Matiz". Burn in hell fucker, wankers like you who buy these shit cars should be condemned to eternal agony.
Fuck you and goodnight.
Listening to: Degradead - Out Of Body Experience
Fuck you and goodnight.
Listening to: Degradead - Out Of Body Experience
Friday, November 27, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 10:28 pm with 3 comments
The drive home from work tonight was wet and wild but the start, as always, was a slow grind from the M4/M5 junction past the M4/M32 junction. It's a busy junction and the mere presence of inclement weather tends to make people drive like complete muppets. But nothing unusual there. Unfortunately there was a stack on the motorway (fortunately for me, on the other carriageway) which occurred in the outside lane. For those not familiar with the British way of describing motorway lanes, that's the on in the middle. It was a low-ish speed affair, so no injuries that I could see, people out of their cars and on the phone to the police and no one needing to be cut out of their cars luckily. But the cause was all too apparent.
Basically, one car had been rear-ended by another, hard enough to turn the front car through at least 45 degrees and push the nose into the armco on the central reservation, mashing the front of the car pretty badly. the front car was a nondescript euro/jap box of some sort but, for the benefit of my British readers, can you guess what make the car which did the shunting was? Have a think. What brand of car almost always seems to be the one which is three inches from your rear bumper? Yes, that's right. If you said BMW then award yourself 10 points and a mildly patronising pat on the back.
My guess is that Beemer boy was driving like a cock which is bad enough in dry, clear daylight conditions but in the dark and wet it is even more stupid. Of course, I didn't see it, but a penny to a pound the moronic middle manager/salesman behind the wheel had his mobile clamped to his ear (which is illegal in the UK, punishable by fines and points on your license in the unlikely event you are spotted by a policeman. I say unlikely because the UK police forces seem to think that speed cameras are a suitable and effective replacement for plods on patrol. Because speed cameras are just so good at catching bad drivers, unsafe cars, people gabbing on the phone etc etc etc). Not only that, but I will bet that he had swung into someone's safety gap - you know, the gap you leave between you and the car in front to enable you to safely react to what's happening in front without having to stamp on the brakes and so you don't hit the car in front. Unfortunately far too many people think that it is their divine right to heave into this gap at will just because their overpriced penis substitute will just about fit the gap.
This led me onto a musing about how the BMW badge still seems to have such cachet with a certain type of person even though, whisper it, BMW is rumoured to sell more of it's 3 series than Ford does of it's once ubiquitous Mondeo. There is something about the blue and white propeller roundel that attracts social climbers, snobs and the sort of person that always likes to keep up with, if not better, the Joneses. Sure, they're well made. Sure, they have some brilliant engines and their efficient dynamics systems have improved their fuel economy and lowered their emissions hugely. But there is something about BMWs that says "I'm a pushy twat". There just is.
These days, Top Gear say that all the cocks have switched from BMW M3s to Audi RS4s (a car which I have to say I would love as it's a real Q car - very unassuming and fast as stink, although I assure you I am not a cock. Well, not normally), but I don't think this is true. Sure, there are some total turds driving Audis, just like any other brand, but by far the biggest proportion of tossers still seems to be driving BMWs, closely followed by Mercedes.
Anyway, whatever the reason behind the crash, the guy in the Beemer will be held to be at fault since he was behind and in all honesty it probably was his fault. Maybe, I am being harsh and he's a perfectly decent guy who had a lapse of concentration and that's ruined his and the other guys day and he's truly sorry and whatnot. But I have my suspicions.
So, I continued my painfully slow journey home and once I got off the congested A46 I thought "Ah ha. Now we can cruise nicely" but sadly, when I turned off onto a smaller backroad through the countryside to head up over Lansdown (a hill that overlooks Bath) I was immediately stuck behind one of those godawful Wendy houses on wheels from Korea (in this case a Chevrolet Matiz, formerly Daewoo who are definitely Korean). These hateful little pieces of crap are small, tinny and furnished with asthmatic engines that would barely power a medium sized blender. They are bought by people with absolutely no idea about cars and they are just the sort of people who have fuck all idea of how to drive as well.
This nasty little abomination tootled along at barely 20mph on a road where overtaking is not possible, braking for every slight bend or oncoming car (to give you some idea, on a clear dry day I can drive the same road at an average of better than 50mph, so that's averaged over slowing for bends and so on. Granted, that's hooning but maintaining 40 on that road is not hard for anyone). I just do not understand why anyone buys one of these things, and there are plenty of them from the likes of Suzuki, Hyundai and others. Sure, they're cheap, but they're built to a price so they are tinny, noisy, shoddily designed and offer all the crash protection of an MDF cupboard (they scraped three out of five stars but one was struck through which is alike a half, because of an "unacceptably high risk of life-threatening injury to the chest in side impact". Your average new Euro box will be considered a failure without at least 4 stars and many are 5 star rated). I will concede that newer models are improving their protection, an obvious result of the EU rating systems which thankfully people pay more attention to these days, but the older models, even slightly older, are just frighteningly poor. The Matiz is made in India, as is the Tata Nano, touted as the worlds cheapest car, and that has all the strucutral rigidty of damp cardboard. I'm sure they're fine for crowded Asian cities where space is at a premium and you never get above 20mph anyway, but on the open road? Bloody stupid.
And its not as if they can really claim green credentials with their weeny engines either. Diesels have better fuel economy and lower emissions. Again, the newest models are improving and they now use either a 1 litre engine or a turbo charged 1.2 litre, but the older models used 800cc, 900cc and 1 litre engines and they were shockingly bad. I used to know someone who bought an 800cc one thinking the car tax would be cheap (see bottom of post for an explanation of how car tax in the UK is charged. It's a bloody stupid system really). Afraid not. My 150bhp 1.9 litre turbo diesel produces less CO2 per kilometre and returns better economy despite having to haul almost 1 1/2 tonnes of German engineering around (it's a VW, not a Beemer in case you were wondering). As a result I pay some 60 quid a year less in tax and the same, if not less, in fuel costs on a like-for-like mileage basis. Granted, mine cost more to buy and I'm sure the servicing is pricier and if something goes wrong then it sure as hell is more expensive, but it actually doesn't go wrong because it's well built (touch wood). So why buy one new or second hand? Get a better car second hand for the same money as a new Matiz and you will find it a much nicer place to be.
Anyway, I now have a theory: Anyone who goes to a garage and is willing to hand over real, proper, hard-earned/hard-borrowed money for one of these stupid cars should immediately have their driving license revoked because they clearly can't drive.
As a final thought, I wondered why, when Chevvy were looking for a route into the Euro car market, they chose to do it by buying a crap brand from a gigantic Korean industrial conglomerate. Daewoo make (or made - I think the Daewoo group went bankrupt at the end of the last decade) stuff. Lots of stuff, from toasters and microwave ovens, through TVs and heavy plant machinery to ships, great big fuck off ships. they started making cars because someone in a meeting somewhere thought it would be a good idea to diversify even further. Except they didn't really. What they actually did was buy the production lines and rights to make the old GM cars and first appeared in the UK market with the Daewoo Nexia, I think, which was basically the old mark three Vauxhall Astra, which was a shit looking car even then. And frankly it didn't get any better.
Gm already has or had a number of brands punting its dubious and not-so-dubious wares in Europe so why on earth did they decide to take on the Daewoo brand and sell even more shite cars under the Chevvy brand? I must confess I don't know what the stock of the Chevvy name is like in the US, but over here it was basically non existent as they had never really sold cars here, so why try and break into a new market with such irredeemably turgid cars? Needless to say, they don't exactly have a large slice of the UK market and I very much doubt that it will get any bigger. Unless they start flogging Corvettes in right hand drive for sensible money, and that won't happen any time soon, sadly.
Anyway, thats a long enough rant for today I think (and there's still the exciting explanation of UK car tax, or Vehicle Excise Duty as I think it's officially called). I haven't done a decent rant about inconsequential crap for ages now and I thought it was about time I stopped posting the self-pitying shit that has been prevalent of late and re-started doing what I created this blog for - writing comedy rants to amuse my mates.
To paraphrase the little Chinese dude in The Hangover (great film by the way, very funny) - Toodle pip motherfuckaaaaaaaahhhhhs!
Listening to: Bear Golightly - Alchemy Sessions 016
A brief outline of UK car tax:
Right. Like I'm going to type all that shit out. If you really give a monkeys bum about how it's done, look on Wikipedia. But I wouldn't if I weere you unless you suffer insomnia in which case go right ahead. It's like Mogadon in print form.
Basically, one car had been rear-ended by another, hard enough to turn the front car through at least 45 degrees and push the nose into the armco on the central reservation, mashing the front of the car pretty badly. the front car was a nondescript euro/jap box of some sort but, for the benefit of my British readers, can you guess what make the car which did the shunting was? Have a think. What brand of car almost always seems to be the one which is three inches from your rear bumper? Yes, that's right. If you said BMW then award yourself 10 points and a mildly patronising pat on the back.
My guess is that Beemer boy was driving like a cock which is bad enough in dry, clear daylight conditions but in the dark and wet it is even more stupid. Of course, I didn't see it, but a penny to a pound the moronic middle manager/salesman behind the wheel had his mobile clamped to his ear (which is illegal in the UK, punishable by fines and points on your license in the unlikely event you are spotted by a policeman. I say unlikely because the UK police forces seem to think that speed cameras are a suitable and effective replacement for plods on patrol. Because speed cameras are just so good at catching bad drivers, unsafe cars, people gabbing on the phone etc etc etc). Not only that, but I will bet that he had swung into someone's safety gap - you know, the gap you leave between you and the car in front to enable you to safely react to what's happening in front without having to stamp on the brakes and so you don't hit the car in front. Unfortunately far too many people think that it is their divine right to heave into this gap at will just because their overpriced penis substitute will just about fit the gap.
This led me onto a musing about how the BMW badge still seems to have such cachet with a certain type of person even though, whisper it, BMW is rumoured to sell more of it's 3 series than Ford does of it's once ubiquitous Mondeo. There is something about the blue and white propeller roundel that attracts social climbers, snobs and the sort of person that always likes to keep up with, if not better, the Joneses. Sure, they're well made. Sure, they have some brilliant engines and their efficient dynamics systems have improved their fuel economy and lowered their emissions hugely. But there is something about BMWs that says "I'm a pushy twat". There just is.
These days, Top Gear say that all the cocks have switched from BMW M3s to Audi RS4s (a car which I have to say I would love as it's a real Q car - very unassuming and fast as stink, although I assure you I am not a cock. Well, not normally), but I don't think this is true. Sure, there are some total turds driving Audis, just like any other brand, but by far the biggest proportion of tossers still seems to be driving BMWs, closely followed by Mercedes.
Anyway, whatever the reason behind the crash, the guy in the Beemer will be held to be at fault since he was behind and in all honesty it probably was his fault. Maybe, I am being harsh and he's a perfectly decent guy who had a lapse of concentration and that's ruined his and the other guys day and he's truly sorry and whatnot. But I have my suspicions.
So, I continued my painfully slow journey home and once I got off the congested A46 I thought "Ah ha. Now we can cruise nicely" but sadly, when I turned off onto a smaller backroad through the countryside to head up over Lansdown (a hill that overlooks Bath) I was immediately stuck behind one of those godawful Wendy houses on wheels from Korea (in this case a Chevrolet Matiz, formerly Daewoo who are definitely Korean). These hateful little pieces of crap are small, tinny and furnished with asthmatic engines that would barely power a medium sized blender. They are bought by people with absolutely no idea about cars and they are just the sort of people who have fuck all idea of how to drive as well.
This nasty little abomination tootled along at barely 20mph on a road where overtaking is not possible, braking for every slight bend or oncoming car (to give you some idea, on a clear dry day I can drive the same road at an average of better than 50mph, so that's averaged over slowing for bends and so on. Granted, that's hooning but maintaining 40 on that road is not hard for anyone). I just do not understand why anyone buys one of these things, and there are plenty of them from the likes of Suzuki, Hyundai and others. Sure, they're cheap, but they're built to a price so they are tinny, noisy, shoddily designed and offer all the crash protection of an MDF cupboard (they scraped three out of five stars but one was struck through which is alike a half, because of an "unacceptably high risk of life-threatening injury to the chest in side impact". Your average new Euro box will be considered a failure without at least 4 stars and many are 5 star rated). I will concede that newer models are improving their protection, an obvious result of the EU rating systems which thankfully people pay more attention to these days, but the older models, even slightly older, are just frighteningly poor. The Matiz is made in India, as is the Tata Nano, touted as the worlds cheapest car, and that has all the strucutral rigidty of damp cardboard. I'm sure they're fine for crowded Asian cities where space is at a premium and you never get above 20mph anyway, but on the open road? Bloody stupid.
And its not as if they can really claim green credentials with their weeny engines either. Diesels have better fuel economy and lower emissions. Again, the newest models are improving and they now use either a 1 litre engine or a turbo charged 1.2 litre, but the older models used 800cc, 900cc and 1 litre engines and they were shockingly bad. I used to know someone who bought an 800cc one thinking the car tax would be cheap (see bottom of post for an explanation of how car tax in the UK is charged. It's a bloody stupid system really). Afraid not. My 150bhp 1.9 litre turbo diesel produces less CO2 per kilometre and returns better economy despite having to haul almost 1 1/2 tonnes of German engineering around (it's a VW, not a Beemer in case you were wondering). As a result I pay some 60 quid a year less in tax and the same, if not less, in fuel costs on a like-for-like mileage basis. Granted, mine cost more to buy and I'm sure the servicing is pricier and if something goes wrong then it sure as hell is more expensive, but it actually doesn't go wrong because it's well built (touch wood). So why buy one new or second hand? Get a better car second hand for the same money as a new Matiz and you will find it a much nicer place to be.
Anyway, I now have a theory: Anyone who goes to a garage and is willing to hand over real, proper, hard-earned/hard-borrowed money for one of these stupid cars should immediately have their driving license revoked because they clearly can't drive.
As a final thought, I wondered why, when Chevvy were looking for a route into the Euro car market, they chose to do it by buying a crap brand from a gigantic Korean industrial conglomerate. Daewoo make (or made - I think the Daewoo group went bankrupt at the end of the last decade) stuff. Lots of stuff, from toasters and microwave ovens, through TVs and heavy plant machinery to ships, great big fuck off ships. they started making cars because someone in a meeting somewhere thought it would be a good idea to diversify even further. Except they didn't really. What they actually did was buy the production lines and rights to make the old GM cars and first appeared in the UK market with the Daewoo Nexia, I think, which was basically the old mark three Vauxhall Astra, which was a shit looking car even then. And frankly it didn't get any better.
Gm already has or had a number of brands punting its dubious and not-so-dubious wares in Europe so why on earth did they decide to take on the Daewoo brand and sell even more shite cars under the Chevvy brand? I must confess I don't know what the stock of the Chevvy name is like in the US, but over here it was basically non existent as they had never really sold cars here, so why try and break into a new market with such irredeemably turgid cars? Needless to say, they don't exactly have a large slice of the UK market and I very much doubt that it will get any bigger. Unless they start flogging Corvettes in right hand drive for sensible money, and that won't happen any time soon, sadly.
Anyway, thats a long enough rant for today I think (and there's still the exciting explanation of UK car tax, or Vehicle Excise Duty as I think it's officially called). I haven't done a decent rant about inconsequential crap for ages now and I thought it was about time I stopped posting the self-pitying shit that has been prevalent of late and re-started doing what I created this blog for - writing comedy rants to amuse my mates.
To paraphrase the little Chinese dude in The Hangover (great film by the way, very funny) - Toodle pip motherfuckaaaaaaaahhhhhs!
Listening to: Bear Golightly - Alchemy Sessions 016
A brief outline of UK car tax:
Right. Like I'm going to type all that shit out. If you really give a monkeys bum about how it's done, look on Wikipedia. But I wouldn't if I weere you unless you suffer insomnia in which case go right ahead. It's like Mogadon in print form.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 4:19 pm with 1 comment
It's finally happened. I have totally lost all interest in or concern about my job and my career. I think I knew it was coming, and it has been for a while now, but I finally feel like I have totally lost all enthusiasm for what I do for a living. Once upon a time I was totally up for it, always ready to learn something new and get stuck in. Now I just don't care enough to make any effort.
I just read an article related to something I was thinking of doing and to be honest I only understood about 30% of it even though it was based upon my programming language of choice. It has been so long since I worked in a proper software environment that I have managed to survive on blagging it, making it up as I go along and Google searches, but now I realise that this just won't cut it any more but I just don't give enough of a toss about IT to learn it properly. I'm only in it for the money now because nothing else will pay me this well
I don't want to be here any more. I hate it, hate it with a passion. Now maybe its just this job (and I am looking for a new one, it must be said), but what if the next job is just the same? What if I still don't care? I would dearly love to be able to jack in IT altogether and never have anything to do with it again, but I'm afraid I'd be good for nothing at all then. Perhaps if I get a job in an industry I am interested in (and trust me, I am not even remotely interested in the industry I am in now) then things might be different, and it has to be worth a shot.
But I really can't see myself lasting a whole lot longer and then what? I'm buggered that's what. What I'd really like to do is learn to coppice woodland and have my own patch of it and learn to burn charcoal and what not, but woodland is expensive and it doesn't really pay a great deal so I suspect that's a lottery-win type of affair.
My motivation has just leaked away that little bit more...
I just read an article related to something I was thinking of doing and to be honest I only understood about 30% of it even though it was based upon my programming language of choice. It has been so long since I worked in a proper software environment that I have managed to survive on blagging it, making it up as I go along and Google searches, but now I realise that this just won't cut it any more but I just don't give enough of a toss about IT to learn it properly. I'm only in it for the money now because nothing else will pay me this well
I don't want to be here any more. I hate it, hate it with a passion. Now maybe its just this job (and I am looking for a new one, it must be said), but what if the next job is just the same? What if I still don't care? I would dearly love to be able to jack in IT altogether and never have anything to do with it again, but I'm afraid I'd be good for nothing at all then. Perhaps if I get a job in an industry I am interested in (and trust me, I am not even remotely interested in the industry I am in now) then things might be different, and it has to be worth a shot.
But I really can't see myself lasting a whole lot longer and then what? I'm buggered that's what. What I'd really like to do is learn to coppice woodland and have my own patch of it and learn to burn charcoal and what not, but woodland is expensive and it doesn't really pay a great deal so I suspect that's a lottery-win type of affair.
My motivation has just leaked away that little bit more...
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 12:10 pm with No comments
Just watched last nights Have I Got News For You which was hosted by
Kirsty Young. Wow. She looked stunning, absolutely stunning. I would
give one of my arms to have even a date with her. Wonder how I could
apply to be her toyboy?
Kirsty Young. Wow. She looked stunning, absolutely stunning. I would
give one of my arms to have even a date with her. Wonder how I could
apply to be her toyboy?
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 5:54 pm with No comments
My self-promotion, that is. I've put a couple of mixes online that I recorded a couple of years ago. They're not the best I've ever done as I was out of practice, and the two that are up are very similar in terms of the tracks on them, but it's a start. I might do more soon and put them up, I'll see if I get the chance.
Anyway, they are progressive, tech and tribal house and trance - think Nick Warren, John Digweed, Sasha etc. You can find them here. Enjoy!
Anyway, they are progressive, tech and tribal house and trance - think Nick Warren, John Digweed, Sasha etc. You can find them here. Enjoy!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 2:16 pm with No comments
I'm part of a free-range future. Join me at ChickenOut.tv!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 11:06 pm with No comments
So that list thing never happened. As usual with these things I got bored and just couldn't be arsed. Oh well. Instead, I thought I might share some music with you. Well, I say share, but you might not want to listen to it, but there you go.
You may or may not have heard of Spotify. In case you haven't, it's a free service which allows you to stream unlimited music to your PC for free. Yes, free. You do get an ad every now and then but frankly, it's not intrusive and it's a lot better than radio - no annoying DJs or shitty low rent ads from local carpet tat merchants. You can get it ad free by paying a monthly sub, buit frankly I don't see the point. I have tos ay, I'm not sure how long they can last as it seems like a rather revenue-light busniness model to me, but what do I know?
To use it, download the client from Spotify and then you can stream music, make playlists or listen to other people's playlists and thats how I intend to share music with you, dear reader. I will eventually put some links on the sidebar but for now, here's the spotify links for my playlists (click them once the client is installed and it should open spotify and start playing).
Seriously heavy metal \m/^~..~^\m/
Some downbeat stuff
Some good old fashioned hip hop
My guilty pleasures list
(Note you might need to refresh the page after clicking the link to get it to work - no idea why).
You may or may not have heard of Spotify. In case you haven't, it's a free service which allows you to stream unlimited music to your PC for free. Yes, free. You do get an ad every now and then but frankly, it's not intrusive and it's a lot better than radio - no annoying DJs or shitty low rent ads from local carpet tat merchants. You can get it ad free by paying a monthly sub, buit frankly I don't see the point. I have tos ay, I'm not sure how long they can last as it seems like a rather revenue-light busniness model to me, but what do I know?
To use it, download the client from Spotify and then you can stream music, make playlists or listen to other people's playlists and thats how I intend to share music with you, dear reader. I will eventually put some links on the sidebar but for now, here's the spotify links for my playlists (click them once the client is installed and it should open spotify and start playing).
Seriously heavy metal \m/^~..~^\m/
Some downbeat stuff
Some good old fashioned hip hop
My guilty pleasures list
(Note you might need to refresh the page after clicking the link to get it to work - no idea why).
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 4:17 pm with No comments
And so I come to my 100th post. I was going to make this a bit of a discussion on new music delivery models (namely Spotify) and my thoughts on them, but I've decided that can be post no 101 or even a bit futher on.
No, today we are talking lists, specifically, the kinds of list that tell you you should have read/listened to/done, or whatever, the various things contained therein. Of course, these things are largely pointless because they generally involve lists made up by journos or pundits all of whom, have some sort of agenda and so they are far too abitrary, but I have done one or two of late and thought I'd share them with you.
So, first up, a list of 100 books that apparently everyone should read according so some spurious BBC News article.
1 - Read some plays and sonnets at school but by no means the whole lot. I doubt many people have truly done so or have the patience to put up with the overly-wordy prose.
2 - I started to read it but gave up because, frankly, it was shit.
So, thats the books taken care of. Next was a list on The Guardian website regarding 1000 (yes, one thousand!) songs you should hear before you die, or somesuch. And since it's my blog, I am going to list every last one of the buggers in the next post.
No, today we are talking lists, specifically, the kinds of list that tell you you should have read/listened to/done, or whatever, the various things contained therein. Of course, these things are largely pointless because they generally involve lists made up by journos or pundits all of whom, have some sort of agenda and so they are far too abitrary, but I have done one or two of late and thought I'd share them with you.
So, first up, a list of 100 books that apparently everyone should read according so some spurious BBC News article.
| Title | Author | Have I? |
| Pride and Prejudice | Jane Austen | No |
| The Lord of the Rings | JRR Tolkien | Yes |
| Jane Eyre | Charlotte Bronte | No |
| Harry Potter series | JK Rowling | No |
| To Kill a Mockingbird | Harper Lee | No |
| The Bible | No | |
| Wuthering Heights | Emily Bronte | No |
| Nineteen Eighty Four | George Orwell | Yes |
| His Dark Materials | Philip Pullman | No |
| Great Expectations | Charles Dickens | No |
| Little Women | Louisa M Alcott | No |
| Tess of the D’Urbervilles | Thomas Hardy | No |
| Catch 22 | Joseph Heller | Intend |
| Complete Works | William Shakespeare | Partial1 |
| Rebecca | Daphne Du Maurier | No |
| The Hobbit | JRR Tolkien | Yes |
| Birdsong | Sebastian Faulks | No |
| Catcher in the Rye | JD Salinger | Intend |
| The Time Traveller’s Wife | Audrey Niffenegger | No |
| Middlemarch | George Eliott | No |
| Gone With The Wind | Margaret Mitchell | No |
| The Great Gatsby | F Scott Fitzgerald | No |
| Bleak House | Charles Dickens | No |
| War and Peace | Leo Tolstoy | No |
| The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy | Douglas Adams | No |
| Brideshead Revisited | Evelyn Waugh | No |
| Crime and Punishment | Fyodor Dostoyevsky | No |
| Grapes of Wrath | John Steinbeck | Intend |
| Alice in Wonderland | Lewis Carroll | Yes |
| The Wind in the Willows | Kenneth Grahame | Yes |
| Anna Karenina | Leo Tolstoy | No |
| David Copperfield | Charles Dickens | No |
| Chronicles of Narnia | CS Lewis | No |
| Emma | Jane Austen | No |
| Persuasion | Jane Austen | No |
| The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe | CS Lewis | Yes |
| The Kite Runner | Khaled Hosseini | No |
| Captain Corelli’s Mandolin | Louis De Bernieres | No |
| Memoirs of a Geisha | Arthur Golden | No |
| Winnie the Pooh | AA Milne | Yes |
| Animal Farm | George Orwell | Intend |
| The Da Vinci Code | Dan Brown | No |
| One Hundred Years of Solitude | Gabriel Garcia Marquez | No |
| A Prayer for Owen Meaney | John Irving | No |
| The Woman in White | Wilkie Collins | No |
| Anne of Green Gables | LM Montgomery | No |
| Far From The Madding Crowd | Thomas Hardy | No |
| The Handmaid’s Tale | Margaret Atwood | Intend |
| Lord of the Flies | William Golding | Yes |
| Atonement | Ian McEwan | No |
| Life of Pi | Yann Martel | Partial2 |
| Dune | Frank Herbert | Yes |
| Cold Comfort Farm | Stella Gibbons | No |
| Sense and Sensibility | Jane Austen | No |
| A Suitable Boy | Vikram Seth | No |
| The Shadow of the Wind | Carlos Ruiz Zafon | No |
| A Tale Of Two Cities | Charles Dickens | No |
| Brave New World | Aldous Huxley | Intend |
| The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time | Mark Haddon | No |
| Love In The Time Of Cholera | Gabriel Garcia Marquez | No |
| Of Mice and Men | John Steinbeck | Yes |
| Lolita | Vladimir Nabokov | No |
| The Secret History | Donna Tartt | No |
| The Lovely Bones | Alice Sebold | No |
| Count of Monte Cristo | Alexandre Dumas | No |
| On The Road | Jack Kerouac | No |
| Jude the Obscure | Thomas Hardy | No |
| Bridget Jones’s Diary | Helen Fielding | No |
| Midnight’s Children | Salman Rushdie | No |
| Moby Dick | Herman Melville | No |
| Oliver Twist | Charles Dickens | No |
| Dracula | Bram Stoker | No |
| The Secret Garden | Frances Hodgson Burnett | No |
| Notes From A Small Island | Bill Bryson | Yes |
| Ulysses | James Joyce | Intend |
| The Bell Jar | Sylvia Plath | No |
| Swallows and Amazons | Arthur Ransome | Yes |
| Germinal | Emile Zola | No |
| Vanity Fair | William Makepeace Thackeray | No |
| Possession | AS Byatt | No |
| A Christmas Carol | Charles Dickens | No |
| Cloud Atlas | David Mitchell | No |
| The Color Purple | Alice Walker | No |
| The Remains of the Day | Kazuo Ishiguro | No |
| Madame Bovary | Gustave Flaubert | No |
| A Fine Balance | Rohinton Mistry | No |
| Charlotte’s Web | EB White | No |
| The Five People You Meet In Heaven | Mitch Albom | No |
| Adventures of Sherlock Holmes | Sir Arthur Conan Doyle | No |
| The Faraway Tree Collection | Enid Blyton | No |
| Heart of Darkness | Joseph Conrad | No |
| The Little Prince | Antoine De Saint-Exupery | No |
| The Wasp Factory | Iain Banks | Intend |
| Watership Down | Richard Adams | No |
| A Confederacy of Dunces | John Kennedy Toole | No |
| A Town Like Alice | Nevil Shute | Intend |
| The Three Musketeers | Alexandre Dumas | No |
| Hamlet | William Shakespeare | Yes |
| Charlie and the Chocolate Factory | Roald Dahl | Yes |
| Les Miserables | Victor Hugo | No |
1 - Read some plays and sonnets at school but by no means the whole lot. I doubt many people have truly done so or have the patience to put up with the overly-wordy prose.
2 - I started to read it but gave up because, frankly, it was shit.
So, thats the books taken care of. Next was a list on The Guardian website regarding 1000 (yes, one thousand!) songs you should hear before you die, or somesuch. And since it's my blog, I am going to list every last one of the buggers in the next post.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 6:24 pm with 2 comments
I've just started to watch the eighth (and probably last) season of Scrubs. I started watching this by accident way back 7 or 8 years ago when I caught an episode on a cable channel and thought it was just about the funniest off-beat comedy in recent times (it also helps that it has an eclectic and often rather good soundtrack). The characters are all very good and well acted, the scripts are good and consistently funny, but for me the absolute shining beacon of the program is one of the lead stars, Sarah Chalke (note that this link points to wikipedia as her official site, or what appears to be her official site, seems to have been hacked by some butt monkey bigging up Palestinian suicide bombers).
Most people will probably know her as Becky, the eldest child in Roseanne. But ever since the start of Scrubs she has been extremely foxy and now, 8 years on she is more stunning than ever. I'm not given to fawning over celebs like some star-struck loser but in her case, I make an exception. A lot of people say they have a 'list' - the ten (or five or whatever) essentially unobtainable celebrities who they would be allowed a pass for in a relationship (usually jokingly I'm sure because no matter who the celebrity I can't imagine your partner being overly keen on you bumping uglies with them). Anyhoo, my list consists of just one person and it's her - she really is awesome. Very elegant, classy, classically beautiful and always seems very genuine and down to earth.
Probably turn out to be totally wrong about that and she's actually an evil, Machiavellian crazy woman, but since I'm never going to meet her (much less date her) I will carefully ignore that possibility. So, the point of this post? Well, there isn't one. I just fancied saying how much I fancy the behind off Ms Chalke. And it's my blog so ner.
Most people will probably know her as Becky, the eldest child in Roseanne. But ever since the start of Scrubs she has been extremely foxy and now, 8 years on she is more stunning than ever. I'm not given to fawning over celebs like some star-struck loser but in her case, I make an exception. A lot of people say they have a 'list' - the ten (or five or whatever) essentially unobtainable celebrities who they would be allowed a pass for in a relationship (usually jokingly I'm sure because no matter who the celebrity I can't imagine your partner being overly keen on you bumping uglies with them). Anyhoo, my list consists of just one person and it's her - she really is awesome. Very elegant, classy, classically beautiful and always seems very genuine and down to earth.
Probably turn out to be totally wrong about that and she's actually an evil, Machiavellian crazy woman, but since I'm never going to meet her (much less date her) I will carefully ignore that possibility. So, the point of this post? Well, there isn't one. I just fancied saying how much I fancy the behind off Ms Chalke. And it's my blog so ner.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 2:03 am with 1 comment
I'm wrecked. Totally wrecked. I'm also still single but things are moving on. Would be happier if I wasn't single but what the hell - life is pretty reasonable. Happy Easter!! In a totally secular way, obviously.
Friday, February 06, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 6:45 pm with No comments
I was just browsing eMusic to grab this months allowance of music when I happened upon the new album from Telefon Tel Aviv (Immolate Yourself on BPitch Control / Finetunes, 2009), a Chicago based ambient outfit. I've come across them before on the strength of one tune that was on a down tempo mix album and I tried to get it on vinyl but the record company (a small indie label) said there was a limited run of about 1000 copies and they were all gone (although the guy did have a look around their office for me which I thought was rather nice of him).
Anyway, this album might be their last as it seems on of the band members died, but the thing that came to mind was listening to the song that put me onto them in the first place - Sound in a dark Room. I found it on YouTube (where else?) and thought I'd share it with you, my readers. My advice: turn up the speakers or headphones (and if you only have laptop speakers then I strongly recommend headphones otherwise you just won't get the full effect of this), turn down the lights and bliss out for a few minutes.
Anyway, this album might be their last as it seems on of the band members died, but the thing that came to mind was listening to the song that put me onto them in the first place - Sound in a dark Room. I found it on YouTube (where else?) and thought I'd share it with you, my readers. My advice: turn up the speakers or headphones (and if you only have laptop speakers then I strongly recommend headphones otherwise you just won't get the full effect of this), turn down the lights and bliss out for a few minutes.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 11:59 pm with 2 comments
In my day job, I am a software developer working primarily in Microsoft languages and a Database Administrator dealing with Microsoft databases, and I like their stuff on the whole, it's good, it works and it's good to use on the whole. Tonight I had a job to do which involved ensuring that we had a continuously updated copy of our main database on another server which would live in another building so that should the unthinkable happen and our offices be destroyed, we had a working copy of the system elsewhere.
I practised and planned this carefully but of course I still had endless problems, as you tend to do with these things, but got to the end and the last little setting which would mean that the system would run as fast as possible. All of a sudden, I get an error message. Eh? What the hell is going on? This didn't happen on my test system.
I looked into it and it turns out that Microsoft decided, in their wisdom, that in the edition of the database server we're using, this feature isn't supported. You have to get the super duper expensive one for that. Now I should explain that MS like editions - think Windows XP or Vista, there are endless variants such as x64, Home, Home Premium, Professional and what not. They do this with most things and you tend to get more stuff with the pricier editions as you would expect. We are using the second from top edition of this database server and each server requires two licenses (it is based on the number of processors) and at nearly £5000 per license and two servers, that’s not an insignificant amount of cash (although granted, we get charity pricing but the principle still applies).
The next version up is over £20000 per processor (£80000+ total). For just one extra thing in my case. It's not that my version doesn't support what I want to do, it does, just not one of the modes of operation of said feature which is just outright idiotic. Have the feature or don't have the feature, fine, but don't bloody well cripple it. Nowhere did I find this mentioned in my reference texts by the way, including the official course manual from MS themselves that I got from doing the administration course on this product. You have to read a white paper for that. Well gee thanks MS, you shower of bastards. You have just ruined my night (I will have to do all this work again at a similarly late time of night because it’s the only time I can get the business to agree to server downtime).
Oh well, nothing to be done now, so bed time and just look forward to the weekend.
I practised and planned this carefully but of course I still had endless problems, as you tend to do with these things, but got to the end and the last little setting which would mean that the system would run as fast as possible. All of a sudden, I get an error message. Eh? What the hell is going on? This didn't happen on my test system.
I looked into it and it turns out that Microsoft decided, in their wisdom, that in the edition of the database server we're using, this feature isn't supported. You have to get the super duper expensive one for that. Now I should explain that MS like editions - think Windows XP or Vista, there are endless variants such as x64, Home, Home Premium, Professional and what not. They do this with most things and you tend to get more stuff with the pricier editions as you would expect. We are using the second from top edition of this database server and each server requires two licenses (it is based on the number of processors) and at nearly £5000 per license and two servers, that’s not an insignificant amount of cash (although granted, we get charity pricing but the principle still applies).
The next version up is over £20000 per processor (£80000+ total). For just one extra thing in my case. It's not that my version doesn't support what I want to do, it does, just not one of the modes of operation of said feature which is just outright idiotic. Have the feature or don't have the feature, fine, but don't bloody well cripple it. Nowhere did I find this mentioned in my reference texts by the way, including the official course manual from MS themselves that I got from doing the administration course on this product. You have to read a white paper for that. Well gee thanks MS, you shower of bastards. You have just ruined my night (I will have to do all this work again at a similarly late time of night because it’s the only time I can get the business to agree to server downtime).
Oh well, nothing to be done now, so bed time and just look forward to the weekend.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 7:58 pm with No comments
I finally got O2 to actually talk to me and it turns out that because I boght the phone through Dial-a-Phone, I'm not eligible for the free bolt-on until the end of March. Fucksocks.
Well, to cheer me up it's time for the new series of Oz and James' drinking adventures and there's this which is just bloody hilarious.
Chin chin.
Well, to cheer me up it's time for the new series of Oz and James' drinking adventures and there's this which is just bloody hilarious.
Chin chin.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Posted by Captain Flymo on 5:13 pm with 2 comments
O2. I thought they would be a good mobile network to move to a couple of years ago after Orange went down the toilet (they were bought out by a French Telco and the customer service died a death plus I couldn't get a signal either where I lived or worked which made a change of network a pressing concern). I had previously been with Vodafone for years but for some reason I decided that I should give another operator a go. Anyway, long and short is that I shifted to O2, albeit via the Carphone Warehouse. In truth I hadn't realised I was going via CPW as the website I got the contract through, which I had used before, had been bought out by a subsidiary of CPW. Had I realised then I would not have touched them with a barge pole as you have to use CPW customer service (which provides none of any consequence and is probably the most incompetently run outfit ever to disgrace these shores), but I was stuck with them for the 18 months of the contract.
Once the contract was up I shifted to O2 proper, got a new phone and 18 month contract and a free 19 inch high definition LCD telly. All was good. However, recently I have noticed a few little niggles. Number one, whereas on every other contract I have ever had the unused inclusive minutes rolled over to the next month (with a 3 month expiry), they do not on this contract: Use 'em or lose 'em. Next, I've been finding that my texts are often not getting through to the recipients for a long time. In fact today a picture message arrived on a friend’s phone a week late. I had already re-sent it and therefore been charged twice. I regularly get people telling me they can't call me at all - they don't even get my voicemail - even though my phone is switched on and on the network.
Next up, it seems that O2 doesn't support delivery reports on messages so I can't even see if messages have got through. I also found out that contracts taken out after Feb 1st 2008 (mine was in March 2008) should get a free 'bolt-on' worth £7.50/month. These are extra goodies like more cross network minutes, unlimited landline calls, unlimited texts etc. I was never told this so I haven't been getting it. I am also eligible for O2 'treats' - every month you get a little freebie, perhaps some more minutes, or some more texts or some free data transfer. It might not always be useful to you but sometimes it might. I was never told about this either.
And finally, when I rang up tonight to ask about my free bolt-on, I was told their systems were being upgraded and could I please call back after 10.30am tomorrow. This is not the first time I have rung during the day and been told their systems are unavailable. What sort of incompetent fuckbag of an IT manager (and business manager for that matter) decided that upgrading systems during peak hours was a good idea? Seriously, if I suggest upgrading our systems at work in any way which involves downtime, I have to fight to be allowed to do it at any time other than the dead of Sunday night, but O2 seem to think its OK to have 18 hours of downtime at peak hours. Fucking bellends.
The result of this is that I am seething and frankly I can't wait to dump the twats when my contract expires in 9 months or so and go back to Vodafone. I never actually had any trouble from them so why on earth did I ever leave?
Once the contract was up I shifted to O2 proper, got a new phone and 18 month contract and a free 19 inch high definition LCD telly. All was good. However, recently I have noticed a few little niggles. Number one, whereas on every other contract I have ever had the unused inclusive minutes rolled over to the next month (with a 3 month expiry), they do not on this contract: Use 'em or lose 'em. Next, I've been finding that my texts are often not getting through to the recipients for a long time. In fact today a picture message arrived on a friend’s phone a week late. I had already re-sent it and therefore been charged twice. I regularly get people telling me they can't call me at all - they don't even get my voicemail - even though my phone is switched on and on the network.
Next up, it seems that O2 doesn't support delivery reports on messages so I can't even see if messages have got through. I also found out that contracts taken out after Feb 1st 2008 (mine was in March 2008) should get a free 'bolt-on' worth £7.50/month. These are extra goodies like more cross network minutes, unlimited landline calls, unlimited texts etc. I was never told this so I haven't been getting it. I am also eligible for O2 'treats' - every month you get a little freebie, perhaps some more minutes, or some more texts or some free data transfer. It might not always be useful to you but sometimes it might. I was never told about this either.
And finally, when I rang up tonight to ask about my free bolt-on, I was told their systems were being upgraded and could I please call back after 10.30am tomorrow. This is not the first time I have rung during the day and been told their systems are unavailable. What sort of incompetent fuckbag of an IT manager (and business manager for that matter) decided that upgrading systems during peak hours was a good idea? Seriously, if I suggest upgrading our systems at work in any way which involves downtime, I have to fight to be allowed to do it at any time other than the dead of Sunday night, but O2 seem to think its OK to have 18 hours of downtime at peak hours. Fucking bellends.
The result of this is that I am seething and frankly I can't wait to dump the twats when my contract expires in 9 months or so and go back to Vodafone. I never actually had any trouble from them so why on earth did I ever leave?
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