What a bargain!

I ventured forth into the madness that is the sales today. I don't normally do this unless I really need something and think I might get a few quid off. It's not that I'm tight, it's just that in order to put up with the moronic stampeding of retarded 'bargain hunters' I need to know I'm actually going to get what I need at a decent price.

You see, the problem with bargains is that most of those items which people proudly tell you were a total bargain are not bargains at all because they are items that the person most likely didn't need in the first place. A bargain is only a bargain if it is something that you would have bought anyway but which you get for a reduced price.

Seeing as I started a new job recently where I have to wear a shirt and trousers again (not my favourite but sadly there are still a lot places in the dark ages when it comes to the dress code for their IT chimps who rarely see or are seen by anyone other than people employed in the same company), I thought it might be an idea to get a couple of new work shirts. I normally detest spending money on 'work clothes' but with shirts I'm not so worried because I know that I can wear them with jeans when the occasion arises so they're not exclusively for going to a dingy office and sitting behind a screen all day. The problem is that I'm quite picky with shirts. I despise anything that might be deemed fashionable because in five minutes time, it won't be and I'll look like one of those halfwits you find working in mobile phone shops. I like shirts to be not too plain, not too garish and comfortable. Luckily, I don't have to wear a tie (the most pointless piece of apparel ever invented but that's another story) so I don't have to stand about wondering what tie will go with the shirt I like and then have some mincer simper at me about some hideous shiny silk item of utter waste.

Anyway, I also decided that, if I saw one I liked, I could do with a new coat. I have a few coats already but the one which is affectionately known as the 'roadkill' coat owing to it's largely furry nature (not actual fur I hasten to add - it was 30 quid in a Next sale years ago so it's probably made from recycled Coke bottles) is getting long in the tooth and has a large tear in it. Also, my old denim jacket is similarly aged and not really my cup of tea these days. This leaves my snowboarding coat (good for wet weather but not what you might call stylishly casual) and my 3/4 length smart black coat. This too is a few years old but still looks alright especially over a black suit but I don't much like taking it down the pub or on nights out because, well, it doesn't look great with jeans. Yes, I sometimes do care about my appearance even if it occasionally doesn't seem like it.

So with these errands in mind I popped in and started searching. M&S first, but no coats or shirts in the sales so I went off to Next, Jollys (House of Fraser store), Austin Reed and Moss. Reed had a good offer on shirts, three for the price of two even on reduced ones, but to be honest the selection in my size wasn't great. There was a coat that I quite liked but it didn't do up to the neck and I'm not terribly keen on wearing a scarf so that was no good. Jollys were, not surprisingly, bloody expensive (although the coats they had were really, really nice and reduced too. Sadly, they were £350 to start with and even reduced to £250 it was more than I was willing to stump up on a coat). Moss had some OK shirts and some OK coats but nothing great. Next failed on all counts as they have been getting increasingly crap of late, in my not-so-humble opinion.

But then I spotted a shop I'd never noticed before. I don't know why, it's been there for a while by all accounts and it's at the posh end of Milsom Street in Bath which I regularly walk up. It was T M Lewin, a shirt makers which is based in Jermyn Street, London, but have obviously branched out. Now, normally anything which is on Jermyn Street is expensive (think hand-made Lobb shoes, Fortnum & Mason and the like) and indeed, normally they are: £85 per shirt, so no wonder I'd not been in there before as that's a lot of cash for a shirt as far as I'm concerned. But in their sale, every shirt was £25. Strewth, now that is a bargain - high quality shirts which will last for ages for £60 less than normal. I took two. I must say that the assistant was terribly helpful - she measured my arms to make sure I got the right size and talked me through the cuts to make sure I got one I was happy with - top class service. I would have added a pair of cashmere-lined leather gloves to the pile down from £75 to £30 as well but they had not got any in my size. Shame - been on the lookout for some for a while.

As for the coat, well, I ended up getting the first one I looked and liked in M&S because it was dead on what I wanted and, at £130, was about the same price as the other coats I had seen in sales and liked but which hadn't been able to button right up. So, all in all I think I did OK. I expect years of service from shirts and coats and the two brands I bought are certainly high enough quality to do that and more. Thing in though, I looked at the stuff in Next in the sale and I wondered to myself, why on earth do people queue up to get in at 5am to buy it? Sure, it's heavily discounted but it is universally crap: cheaply made, cheap looking and just not at all nice. Several people needed medical attention and I'm sure that I heard at least one person suffered hypothermia while queuing somewhere this year, if you can believe that. Madness.

Oh well, for me the sales are over for another year and I for one am glad. We've just had the rampant consumerism of Christmas, we really don't need any more for a while.