In lieu of a decent post for ages (or indeed, anything at all), here's a list of Things That Have Annoyed Me Recently:
1) Traffic lights, especially those in Bristol. They're out of phase and often go wrong, especially the ones on the stupid 'showcase' bus lanes so that they change every 10 seconds (yes, really) whether there's a bus coming or not. All they do is cause congestion because there are too many.
2) Janet Street Porter. Stupid, loud, obnoxious, bag-faced troglodyte. Whenever I see her on TV I have an irrational urge to straighten her teeth by the swift application of a sizeable knuckle sandwich.
3) The Cobra Beer 'prime time' sponsorship ads on Dave (UK digital TV channel which shows a lot of Red Dwarf, Top Gear, Mock the Week, QI, Have I Got News For You etc). The premise, for those not in the know, is a couple of blokes in the pub drinking Cobra (a perfectly decent lager, by the by), having a pseudo-philosophical discussion which is meant to be amusing or droll, e.g. "Thing is, why isn't there a mouse flavoured cat food?". Here's a thought for you, you annoying, unfunny pillock: How about we hunt down the over-paid, gak-addled nonce case ad exec who came up with this twaddle and drown him in a vat of pickled eggs for the good of humanity?
4) Lane ditherers. MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND WHICH LANE YOU'RE IN AND STICK TO IT, YOU BASTARD.
5) Road works. Why on earth do they always take 16 weeks to complete (this is the figure often quoted on the signs warning you that your route to work is being disrupted. Again.)? Doesn't seem to matter what they're actually doing, it's still 16 weeks.
6) Leslie Ash. Just because.
There's a lot more besides but I really can't be arsed to do any more and anyway, I'm sure you, dear reader, get the picture. Especially if you actually know me.
Listening to: Born Ruffians - Red, Yellow & Blue
1) Traffic lights, especially those in Bristol. They're out of phase and often go wrong, especially the ones on the stupid 'showcase' bus lanes so that they change every 10 seconds (yes, really) whether there's a bus coming or not. All they do is cause congestion because there are too many.
2) Janet Street Porter. Stupid, loud, obnoxious, bag-faced troglodyte. Whenever I see her on TV I have an irrational urge to straighten her teeth by the swift application of a sizeable knuckle sandwich.
3) The Cobra Beer 'prime time' sponsorship ads on Dave (UK digital TV channel which shows a lot of Red Dwarf, Top Gear, Mock the Week, QI, Have I Got News For You etc). The premise, for those not in the know, is a couple of blokes in the pub drinking Cobra (a perfectly decent lager, by the by), having a pseudo-philosophical discussion which is meant to be amusing or droll, e.g. "Thing is, why isn't there a mouse flavoured cat food?". Here's a thought for you, you annoying, unfunny pillock: How about we hunt down the over-paid, gak-addled nonce case ad exec who came up with this twaddle and drown him in a vat of pickled eggs for the good of humanity?
4) Lane ditherers. MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND WHICH LANE YOU'RE IN AND STICK TO IT, YOU BASTARD.
5) Road works. Why on earth do they always take 16 weeks to complete (this is the figure often quoted on the signs warning you that your route to work is being disrupted. Again.)? Doesn't seem to matter what they're actually doing, it's still 16 weeks.
6) Leslie Ash. Just because.
There's a lot more besides but I really can't be arsed to do any more and anyway, I'm sure you, dear reader, get the picture. Especially if you actually know me.
Listening to: Born Ruffians - Red, Yellow & Blue