Friday, May 18, 2007

I don't want no Scrubs...

Actually I do. I've been a fan of US sitcom Scrubs since I accidentally caught an episode from the first series on cable TV years back, probably not that long after it had started. I remember seeing a trailer for it but not being a medical TV fan (think Casualty and Holby City, two of the most dirge-like and tedious programmes on TV today) I didn't bother to watch it, so I must have caught it on one of these catch up sessions of which channels are now so fond (they have to put less thought and cash in to get more or less the same viewing figures and ad revenue for a given time period - result!). It made me laugh until I was almost in tears and my sides hurt.

Since then I've been a devoted fan but recently I read something somewhere which suggested that series 6 was the last ever series which would have made the double bill aired in the States this week the last ever bit of Scrubs. Thankfully, this has proved unfounded as NBC have confirmed a seventh season will appear this autumn (along with a new season of Heroes with around 30 episodes. For those not in the know, Heroes is a cult series with a following almost as large and devoted as that of Lost, but the programme writers knew how to write something you could actually follow whereas the writers of Lost appear to have been smoking crack when they came up with most of the utterly incomprehensible storylines that they run with).

Oddly, Scrubs was almost a victim of its own success. It started in 2001 with a cast of virtual unknowns (at least on this side of the pond, perhaps an American reader might enlighten me as to any major achievements by any of the cast prior to the show?) with the sole exception, for me, of Sarah Chalke. Ms Chalke was better known to me as Becky from Roseanne (which was shown late on Friday nights on Channel 4 for years in the UK and which I liked for some reason. Probably because John Goodman was so damn funny. It certainly wasn't for Roseanne herself, who is a bit of a fruitloop). However as Scrubs became more popular, the ratings grew and therefore ad revenue grew because it was promoted to prime time slots and therefore the cast got paid more. It seems it's now so successful that the network can barely afford to pay the actors and writers. Still, I think it would be good to finish this programme with one final season which does whatever it needs to do because it is still funny but that can't last. Just look at Friends. It's even had it's own imitators such as Channel 4's desperately shit Green Wing. Still, they do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

It’s easy for Europeans to adopt a rather superior attitude to the Americans for all sorts of reasons, not least because so much American TV is utter shite. But, now and again, someone somewhere gets it right. Not only that but TV execs realise it and put on the programme. Lost is apparently an example of this although I’ve never seen the appeal, but Scrubs, Heroes, The Sopranos, Family Guy, Futurama, and The Simpsons are all evidence that America is capable of producing well written, well acted mainstream TV shows with wide appeal. There are even more examples of cult TV in other genres: Samurai Jack, Clone Wars and Dexter’s Laboratory are all cult cartoons from the creative genius that is Gennady Tartakovsky but there are plenty of other examples too.

So, I say vive American TV because now and then it throws out some real gems but in between times we can watch Jerry Springer, Judge Judy and Oprah and be thankful that our general populace isn’t quite as utterly retarded as some of the less savoury elements of our transatlantic cousins' society. Although anyone who has watched Tricia or Jeremy Kyle will know that we're trying really hard to emulate the most pikey elements of the public seen on Jerry Springer. Quite why, I have no idea.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Two posts in a day?

Might have to change the title from 'occasional' to 'almost regular'.

This post is actually a replication of a post I have submitted tonight to cable forum because my broadband provider, Virgin Media, have pulled a bit of a fast one by introducing traffic shaping (or throttling or QoS, whatever you want to call it) without actually mentioning to, well, anyone including their own staff it would seem.

The original post is here and here are some of the internet resources reporting on the throttling:
Cable Forum, IS Preview and Neowin.





Hi all

New to the forum but having the same issue with traffic shaping. I am on a 4Mbit connection and have noticed it being a tad slow of late and tonight very much so. Someone at work told me about the shaping policy today, not even VM themselves which annoyed me a touch.

So, I rang up. First off I got a CS rep who didn't have scooby doo what I was talking about so he went off to talk to someone and afterwards maintained that actually these limits had always been in place under the Fair Use policy but were simply not highlighted. This I doubted, and I argued as such but could not prove it at that moment in time. He told me that if I looked in my ts and cs then I would see he was right. So, after a fruitless argument about it, I gave up and went hunting for the ts and cs Telewest sent me. I found them and they make no mention of these limits and in fact they do not even appear to mention the Fair Use policy at all, so rang again.

This time, I got a girl who said that a few people were asking managers about this as they were getting more and more calls. She told me I'd need to speak to broadband tech support and put me through. Enter stage right a call centre employee in Mumbai who clearly didn't even understand the question as there were massive pauses while he tried to locate some part of his script that might appease me (not his fault, obviously - he's simply the result of pointless cost cutting exercises. I'd rather have a lower top package which was genuinely unlimited with decent technical backup than headline grabbing alleged speeds and crap 'support' from someone 10,000 miles away). Anyway, eventually he put me on hold as he clearly didn't have the faintest idea what my query/complaint was about and after nearly half an hour I was cut off. Exeunt stage left the Worlds Worst Tech Support.

So, I tried a third time. This time I got though to yet another CS rep who told me I'd need to talk to broadband technical support. I said I didn't want to talk to the Indian centre because they simply don't have the level of English comprehension to understand what you're saying if your query deviates in anyway from their scripted answers. I was put through to a UK call centre (hurrah!) and was dealt with by a most helpful chap. Sadly, he didn't know anything about it either, so he asked a couple of managers. Unfortunately neither of them could agree on what the policy meant or how it would actually be implemented either.

However, this chap did then go and talk to someone else and it was eventually clarified that if you go over 750MB of download on a 4Mbit connection, you will get throttled. No ifs, no buts, that's exactly it. Of course, there's nothing the operators can do about it (anyone who thinks there is a big red button to remove throttling on and individual connection is sadly mistaken, I fear), but he told me to make a formal written complaint to the following address:

Telewest Broadband
Evolution House
1 Chippingham Street
Attercliffe
Sheffield
S9 3SE

and he assured me they take complaints very seriously. Now fair play to the lad, he was as nice and as helpful as he could possibly be and he even admitted that I knew more about it than he had done or his managers. He was also most apologetic that it had taken so long to get this simple (if blunt and rather unpalatable) answer. VM have not even had the decency to warn and train their own staff on this matter which has lead to half-truths, myths and downright lies about how these limits have always existed but not been publicised. As a result I have spent 2 hours on the phone trying to get to the bottom of it, I have spoken to 5 differnet people who have, in turn, spoken to the same number again while I was on hold. What a monumental waste of time. VM have tried to slip this though on the quiet because they want to penalise the lower packages in order to make their headline grabbing packages seem even better. As someone else has said, how can they now advertise their broadband as having no limits when it clearly does?

I really don't see why I should be penalised for taking advantage of new technologies that allow me to view tv over the web. That's what they all want isn't it? For us all to be using broadband to watch tv and access digital media services? But the second we do so we get punished.

Now much as I dislike conspiracy theories, it does seem a bit too neat that this has come into force at the same time 10Mbit packages have been upgraded to 20Mbit. This in itself is a bit annoying because 4Mbit and 2Mbit packages aren't being upgraded as far as I can see so 20Mbit users, theoretically, get 5 times the service for just 50% more dosh. Hmmm. Could it be they are desperate for everyone to upgrade? Don't they see that if everyone upgraded then the problems would just be worse? As for the new 50Mbit package, what's the point? Will that be subject to traffic shaping too? If so, what will the threshold be be and what will the throttled speed be? I can't see anyone who's shelling out a mooted £55/month for that service being too happy when their shiny new connection gets the life squeezed out of it.

Me? Well, I'll be writing to them with a formal and strongly worded complaint. I'm not happy at all, and I suggest anyone else who is affected by this, thinks they might be or just objects on principal does so too because we can whing all we want on forums but VM will not takwe the slightest bit of notice unless people actually complain formally to them in writing. Take the few minutes and the cost of an envelope and stamp and maybe, just maybe, if enough of us do it they will realise that people are annoyed enough to make a bit of effort and start paying attention to the people that pay their wages. Us.

Whoa! Watch the bandwagon.

You may or may not be aware of some legal nonsense going on in the States whereby the AACS-LA has decided that even putting up a particular 128 bit hexadecimal integer on your website which so happens to be the same as one of their randomly chosen HD-DVD encryption keys is illegal. Their premise? They claim that the DMCA makes it illegal for anyone to reproduce this number without their permission, which they won't give, because it can be used to circumvent the DRM. But there's a good reason for having this number, not least of which is that it's a number so how the hell can you claim ownership of it? That's like me saying zero belongs to me and anyone wanting to use it must pay me a royalty. Such a claim would be treated with the disdain it so richly deserves so why one earth is anyone in the legal profession even entertaining this idiotic notion? Well, OK, the AACS-LA lawyers are no doubt getting paid a very large sum of money so I'm sure for enough cash they will entertain all manner of stupid ideas, but beyond that, why?

But there's more. The AACS-LA say that this particular number is just one of many encryption keys and thus it owns the rights to a whole bunch of other numbers (the quantity of value was unspecified I believe) and using them would be naughty too. They haven't just said this in a statement; they are making this claim in a lawsuit against websites which have published the number at the heart of all this silliness.

Enter Ed Felten, a professor at Princeton. He has come up with a genius idea which allows everyone to own an integer and if his system issues 2^128 numbers then we could, based on the AACS-LA premise, sue them for using our numbers. My number is

79 6E E4 46 10 72 DF 11 1F 55 E4 2C 0C 63 8D 0A

so keep your greasy mitss off it or I'll sue!!

There is a serious side to all this - Felten is pointing out the absurdity of someone claiming to own a number. The reason why this is such a big deal is that the number in question is a key which allows the DRM on HD-DVD discs to be circumvented. You might think "Well people shouldn't be trying to make illegal copies or be buying pirates so what's the problem?" but unless you circumvent the DRM these discs often will not play on a standard PC. If you own a legitimately bought disc then it is no business of the copyright owner as to what device you use to view it and so they have no business blocking your usage of the disc in a PC.

Sadly, the American legal system appears to be so weighted in favour of the utter paranoia employed by corporations in order to protect their interests (read: cash cows) that there's a chance they might actually win this nonsensical argument. So, sicne there's not really a lot we can do about it, I think everyone should get their own number (or maybe a few) from Felten's kindly provided system and then maybe set an example by licensing it with a Creative Commons Sharealike License which means you grant anyone and evryone the right to use your number(s), as this chap has.

The number above is mine, all mine, but the following numbers:

8C BC 03 EA 37 95 33 F3 7E DB 93 85 D3 E4 8F C4
24 CA FB 2A CE 25 15 E5 21 1A CE 56 B0 80 69 F9
5F 58 D1 4F 47 C1 A0 1F B7 88 A8 15 B4 77 8D 70
15 53 D2 0D 8E 12 28 4E 48 01 83 0C 56 69 19 CC

You can do what you like with under the CCSA license. Have a ball.