It's finally happened. I have totally lost all interest in or concern about my job and my career. I think I knew it was coming, and it has been for a while now, but I finally feel like I have totally lost all enthusiasm for what I do for a living. Once upon a time I was totally up for it, always ready to learn something new and get stuck in. Now I just don't care enough to make any effort.
I just read an article related to something I was thinking of doing and to be honest I only understood about 30% of it even though it was based upon my programming language of choice. It has been so long since I worked in a proper software environment that I have managed to survive on blagging it, making it up as I go along and Google searches, but now I realise that this just won't cut it any more but I just don't give enough of a toss about IT to learn it properly. I'm only in it for the money now because nothing else will pay me this well
I don't want to be here any more. I hate it, hate it with a passion. Now maybe its just this job (and I am looking for a new one, it must be said), but what if the next job is just the same? What if I still don't care? I would dearly love to be able to jack in IT altogether and never have anything to do with it again, but I'm afraid I'd be good for nothing at all then. Perhaps if I get a job in an industry I am interested in (and trust me, I am not even remotely interested in the industry I am in now) then things might be different, and it has to be worth a shot.
But I really can't see myself lasting a whole lot longer and then what? I'm buggered that's what. What I'd really like to do is learn to coppice woodland and have my own patch of it and learn to burn charcoal and what not, but woodland is expensive and it doesn't really pay a great deal so I suspect that's a lottery-win type of affair.
My motivation has just leaked away that little bit more...
I just read an article related to something I was thinking of doing and to be honest I only understood about 30% of it even though it was based upon my programming language of choice. It has been so long since I worked in a proper software environment that I have managed to survive on blagging it, making it up as I go along and Google searches, but now I realise that this just won't cut it any more but I just don't give enough of a toss about IT to learn it properly. I'm only in it for the money now because nothing else will pay me this well
I don't want to be here any more. I hate it, hate it with a passion. Now maybe its just this job (and I am looking for a new one, it must be said), but what if the next job is just the same? What if I still don't care? I would dearly love to be able to jack in IT altogether and never have anything to do with it again, but I'm afraid I'd be good for nothing at all then. Perhaps if I get a job in an industry I am interested in (and trust me, I am not even remotely interested in the industry I am in now) then things might be different, and it has to be worth a shot.
But I really can't see myself lasting a whole lot longer and then what? I'm buggered that's what. What I'd really like to do is learn to coppice woodland and have my own patch of it and learn to burn charcoal and what not, but woodland is expensive and it doesn't really pay a great deal so I suspect that's a lottery-win type of affair.
My motivation has just leaked away that little bit more...