...or get busy dying. So said the character Andy Dufresne in Shawshank Redemption and as Ellis 'Red' Redding said, that's goddamn right. I watched it on Monday night for the umpteenth time and the line really struck a chord. You can't change what's gone before but you can do something about the future and if you don't live the future then you're already dead. So I decided to stop moping. Sure, I'm still sad, of course I am, but you can't live your life in self-pity and regret. You have to get over it and move on and do whatever it takes to be happy...
Friday, September 10, 2010
Monday, September 06, 2010
Posted by Captain Flymo on 10:25 pm with No comments
It would seem that from the language involved there is absolutely no hope of getting back together. The first time I say "I love you" to a girl and it is wasted and I end up spending all my energy in despair and a black, black depression. It all seems so pointless now. I feel as though I will never meet anyone else like this again. Life just looks like a dull procession of routine and drudgery marked only by the growing nights and smudged by the grey, wet days. If this is love, why do we strive for it so hard? It seems, from this viewpoint, a cruel...
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Posted by Captain Flymo on 8:21 pm with No comments
It's funny. I never knew it was possible to feel at once so utterly and excruciatingly frightened and sad yet be so filled with a love that brings warmth to the coldest of places. Right now I'm sitting on a busy inter-city train under harsh, unforgiving strip lights making my way home and therefore by extension closer to the reason for that love. And I both dread and long for the experience. This very train, were I to stay on it, would take me to the place where the girl I am so hopelessly and totally in love with lives. A part of me says "Stay...
Saturday, September 04, 2010
Posted by Captain Flymo on 8:55 am with No comments
Gentlemen, take note. No matter how much you think you're a decent, modern man in tune with his feelings and able to share, I guarantee you there will come a time in life when you conform to every stereotype of the reticent male there has ever been. I thought I was modern and able to share and talk about feelings but at the crunch moment I discovered that in fact I was the complete antithesis of everything I had always believed myself to be in that regard. It rather astonished me, but worse than that it may have caused irreperable damage...
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Posted by Captain Flymo on 6:21 pm with No comments
So what really happened? Why am I so upset? This is the same person I've been out with and broken up with twice (oh yes, forgot to mention that). Both times it ended because I couldn't work out what I was feeling or if it was right for me. See, the problem with me is that I'm pretty naive when it comes to relationships and feelings, especially love. I've been in love before, once, a long time ago, and didn't even realise until later (too late) that I had been. The tragedy there is that I clearly didn't take away that lesson and learn from it.You...
Posted by Captain Flymo on 8:05 am with 2 comments
Well you won't be surprised to learn that it's the world of romance, or lack thereof. In the not too recent past I had everything I could wish for and yet somehow I managed to fuck it up. Twice. Anyway, to pinch the title of the classic war film, too late the hero, I finally got round to admitting to the girl in question that actually I do love her. Worse, she knew. Worse still, I left it too late and she's met someone new. What an idiot. After all that moaning about being single I had it all and then squandered it. Seriously, what planet...
Friday, July 09, 2010
Posted by Captain Flymo on 6:45 pm with No comments
One of my mixes has been chosen to be the guest mix on BEar Golightly's Alchemy Sessions this month on the di.fm progressive channel. You can hear the show from 9pm BST and I'll be playing from 10pm on Tuesday July 27th. I'm pretty excited about this so I hope you all tune in and enjoy the show, and make listening to Bear's excellent mixes a regular event (last Tuesday of every month).Facebook page is here.That is a...
Monday, June 07, 2010
Posted by Captain Flymo on 12:27 pm with No comments
OK, so I've started doing mixes digitally and I've been working on my first one. It's about an hour long and it's progressive house. I've put it up on Soundcloud and it's available for download from there (for free - aren't I nice?). Find it at: The Somerset Experiments 001 by deckmonkey All comments on it gratefully received!Tracklist:1) Loneliness (2010) - Tomcraft (Roy RosenfelD Remix)2) Sweet Dreams - DJ Nick Corline (Instrumental Mix)3) Wasted - Andy Duguid Feat. Leah (Original Mix) 4) Two Dots - Lusine (Nic Fanciulli Remix)5) Freeze...
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Posted by Captain Flymo on 6:01 pm with 1 comment
I knew it. It had to happen eventually. It was too good to be true. As of today, I am single again because I am completely incapable of being emotionally mature and talking about feelings. Well, I can but not until I know someone really, really well. I mean as in at least 6 months, maybe a year. Certainly not 2 months in. Anyway, that fucked it right up, but at least we parted on decent terms and hopefully, we will remain friendly. Still, fucked my week right up when I realised that I had to end it or risk causing a good deal of hurt to the other...
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Posted by Captain Flymo on 6:36 pm with No comments
Today I had cause to visit an NHS clinic at a fairly large general hospital. The website said that it was a walk in clinic and stupidly I believed it. It was right in the sense that, strictly speaking, I didn't need an appointment. However when I arrived at 5 I was told there might be a bit of a wait, despite the almost empty waiting room. No problem I thought, 45 minutes or even an hour is OK.Over an hour and a half later I am still waiting. According to the whiteboard in the waiting area there are 9 staff on duty, so how in the name of...
Monday, February 01, 2010
Posted by Captain Flymo on 9:19 pm with 2 comments
Right, that's it. I've had enough of being a miserable sod. I've decided that it's high time I stopped moping about and made things happen this year. It is all going to change. I started internet dating again the other week and I've been on a few dates and this weekend just gone I met an absolutely gorgeous girl and we really clicked. We both really like each other and we're chatting every day and seeing each other again this weekend. Now, it's early days, make no mistake about it, but everything looks positive at the moment. I don't want to some...
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